The Journey Within

by Angela Cegnar

In my desire to discover more of my own potential, I have been looking for a long time for ways to accelerate and deepen my own evolution. My search led me to the WEL-Systems Institute's Self-Healing Week-end on November 8th and 9th. I learned far more than the well-supported theory behind Quantum TLC™. I witnessed my body at work healing emotional dis-ease and self-limitations I have harbored for more than 39 years. I also learned what true intelligence is. During the weekend I made strides in understanding my body and intellect that could have otherwise taken me 39 more years. And this was possible without any thought or control on my part. Using Quantum TLC I began to re-allow my body to function at its true capacity. I observed my body's innate responses and intelligence in action. In the instant I re-engaged with myself to stop blocking my body's vast ability to process, by fully circulating my emotions and thoughts, my entire life was changed.

What I would like to share with everyone is that soon following my bodily experience using Quantum TLC came my full realization that all my past efforts to gain understanding and self-mastery, to move beyond my persistent self-limiting beliefs and baggage by analysis, were not merely fruitless but served to perpetuate denial itself. Now I can see that I engaged in my continued search and false hopes to distract myself while still denying my body and emotions. By analyzing I could put myself at a safe distance from ever having to face what I was repressing. By separating myself I had reduced my ability to live with authentic purpose, and to live happily. At what capacity level was I functioning if by my endless search and analysis I was making impossible my engagement with my own body and mind?

Talking Denial

Along the way I tried talk therapy. The goal behind this was to achieve emotional independence by describing to an empathetic therapist my childhood and other troubling events. The therapist's job was to reflect back to me my descriptions and assure me that now as an adult, I could easily apply my intellectual understanding to get over the stored negative emotions I harbored in response to these events. But this didn't stop me from unconsciously recreating the same behavioral patterns in my day-to-day life. Left unprocessed by my body, my repressed emotions were what I was still acting on moment-to-moment. Because they were created by and stored in my body, I would need to activate my body to address them. By engaging only my intellect I was still holding back my emotions as I worked hard to reason and understand why I was having them.

Not Looking Now

Further along my way I tried a few spiritual therapies. One was designed to channel light into the electromagnetic field around my body while saying affirmations, and another was designed to dissolve emotional patterns by a master teacher's work to elicit stored emotional responses in me. From these I gained a profound intellectual understanding of my emotional patterns and discomfort. I wrote thousands of pages of analyses and dream interpretations. I also actively continued to search for another therapy model or a better master teacher. Through all this, it did not occur to me to look within myself for my own healing capability. How could my body help me? I had little regard for it beyond being an unintelligent organism with the function of carrying my highly intelligent brain around.

Breaking the Rules

My Quantum TLC experience encouraged me to ask, when the rules of conduct conflict with my genuine emotional responses, where will my loyalty lie? My intellect is quite familiar with the rules. Ultimately it is up to me to choose honor and act in accordance with my feelings or to ignore them and do what my intellect decides. My intellect is constantly weighing, considering, and judging based on the beliefs, values and attitudes that I have acquired. It is keenly aware of the consequences and risks associated with each decision it makes. If I have learned to hold the belief that I should not angrily yell at my boss, then my intellect will help me shut off the desire so I won't lose my job. On the other hand, it will encourage me to shut off my emotions just because I should be embarrassed to cry in public, even if for good reason. My intellect also discriminates based on learned values, to judge certain emotions as merely immature and not valid. The truth is, without exception all my responses are valuable and must be honored and integrated for me to reach my full human potential. If I choose to shut down my emotional responses I am not only turning down the privilege of insight and wisdom they offer. My body will store the emotions my intellect chooses to repress, so when I choose to stay fearfully within the rules of conduct it is at the price of my health and productivity.

Coming Home

A premise of the Quantum TLC method is, "Intellect is not the right tool for the job." That is, my intellect is ill-equipped to process and integrate emotional responses. My body is the naturally-fitted tool and when I embrace and honor my emotions, it simultaneously circulates them through the body to yield guidance and wisdom. I observed in Ottawa that when I permit it to, my body will begin immediately to clear up and circulate the stored emotions that trouble me. During my experience at the Self-Healing Week-end I was stunned to feel such intense emotions emerging. After all, I'd worked so hard in therapy. But I could not deny the immediate relief and positive changes I felt. I was also surprised to observe the profound difference between keeping my attention in my body versus returning it to outer-directed thoughts and the usual struggling to control events and interactions. Finding in my body the real self-mastery and happiness I'd been searching for was like coming home for the first time. All the comfort and love and intelligence I sought has been waiting there.

Too Easy?

It seems counter intuitive to me to achieve dramatic results with a virtually effortless method. I've always operated on a work ethic that holds nothing valuable is gained without hard work. But with Quantum TLC profound results are possible because I am not doing any of the work! Because I am simply getting out of the way to facilitate my body's innate desire to function as the bioprocessing device it is, practicing Quantum TLC calls for only minor effort. Commitment to breathe deeply is one, and keeping my attention on the area of my body in which I feel a sensation is the other. When I am practicing Quantum TLC, my sensations resemble the lightheaded, whirling I felt after I twirled my body in a circle about ten times as a child, followed by spontaneous movements in my body that make me want to get up and stretch, shrug my shoulders, or dance around! I assure you I've never felt sensations this good while engaging my intellect.

True Intelligence

Another premise of Quantum TLC is "Every response is an intelligent response." As a human being, I am designed to embrace all my experiences and emotional responses for integration into my life's purpose. Only by owning my full experience will I be capable of fulfilling my unique expression and contribution to my community. Trusting myself yields wisdom and courage and insight into the questions I long to answer. As long as I was a seeker, I refused to accept that my individuated truth was not written anywhere for me to read. Now I know my truth is only found within myself. Intelligence is not created by an effort of my intellect but it flows effortlessly from the divine source within me when I honor all of my experience. As long as I use my intellect and conditioned values to decide that certain felt responses are unacceptable, I will be lost from my purpose. It is not for me to judge my experience in terms of its value to others, or to fear if my expression offends them it should be denied. To possess true intelligence is to honor every experience, embrace it with unconditional acceptance of myself, and trust I am intended to have and use it all.

Yippee! This is REALLY LIVING!

I encourage everyone to ask these questions: If I don't have the courage to embrace my emotions, will I have the courage to live up to my human potential and contribute something to my community? And, if I continue to look outside myself for intelligence, will I innovate or just review the contributions of others?

Angela Cegnar lives in Virginia with her daughter and her cat. With a background in Philosophy, she has been asking questions all her life - big ones and small ones - not so much for the answers but for the adventure of seeking. Angela has discovered that because of her recent experience, she has formed the goal of helping others discover the power of a WEL-Systems perspective by writing about and sharing her discoveries of Quantum TLC™ as a process for self-healing.

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